u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
