just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
