I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
