Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
