I need help removing her.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
