Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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