I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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