he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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