I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
