he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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