there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
