I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
