Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
