SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
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Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
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Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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