hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
