Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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