sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
