just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
