I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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