I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
