Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
