Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
