..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
