She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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