They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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