Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
