I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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