ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
