bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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