She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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