yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize