After last night, I could never be a politician.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
