In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
