Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
