You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
