Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize