I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
