OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize