I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
