found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize