my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week