I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.