Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize