We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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