Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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