I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I need moral support for this bender
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
