no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize