Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
