grandma shit on top of the toilet
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
