I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
