Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
