I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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