I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
