I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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