So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
