Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
