Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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