I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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