It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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