Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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